Blog‎ > ‎

Love - Series II

posted 14 Jul 2012, 12:50 by olnf Admin
Author: Gikesh Nair

The last article on love was written and kept incomplete hoping someone else would help continue it and get more points on what people think love is, but sadly people hated it to a level of not continuing it but being a Ram Gopal varma of making the second part of a failed first, I go ahead with a second article on love and how people go through it. So let's start with what is love?

It is the feeling, the warmth that we get when we are in the company of our loved ones. It is also the lick from our dog when he sees us after a long time, it is the hug from our friend when we meet him after a long time, it is embrace of our loved one when we hug them, it is the smile on the face of the person we love when they hear our sound after a long time, it is the hand of the kid who grips us to not let go. It is a lot of magical unexplained things but let's go with the youth to adulthood part of it.

Love is that something we feel may be in school times with all our metabolic activities going at mach 4, that's the time when we see that particular girl in the class whom we fall in love at the very first sight (never understood this concept but anyway). We are officially in love for the first time. The girl comes and talks and then the world goes colourful, time stands still and becomes a 90s bollywood romantic movie. 

We are the heroes of our dreams and that one smile or the talk with the girl of dreams is all that's enough to forget the teachers punishment, the home work stress or nagging parents or anything else. Hence with puberty we are introduced into the world of love (infatuation actually) but yes say hello to starry eyes.

This continues as in school days of our days unlike today we were quite constrained and end up shying away and not even talking to lady love, and are introduced to the world of college.

Now college is a place where the feelings gain momentum and we become quite open, free (courageous to be true) and increase to the next step. I belonged much to the nerd class of people and would still shy out but this is the place where everything is testosterone and oestrogen filled. Here still the feeling might be of love but let's say no strings attached or nothing serious (time pass) but yes here we become more serious in this topic. Some break the boundaries of infatuation and jump onto the love wagon seriously, some are still confused and others enjoy whatever they get on the name of love [ :-P] , but yes that's one time of life where everyone is in love and loves to be in love.

Next with the increase  in age and responsibilities, we try analysing what's expected from love. Say after college, would I get a job , would I be self sustaining, would I still love the same girl and this is the stage of breaking infatuations and becoming free. 

From this stage onwards infatuations die down and we actually get to the stage of actually falling in love (not true in all cases and for all people, readers discretion  expected). But this is the time when we are said to be too old to fall in love or do something as stupid and are expected to settle down and marry, many do and then some follow the same track and go ahead to fall in love.

But ever thought why do we fall in love? being on the other side it may feel good say for example if someone is in love with you they do all the good things or everything that you like to keep you happy (quite a feeling, where our happiness lies in the happiness of the person we love). 

This particular feeling gives an unparalleled happiness that's enough to justify anything stupid that might be done to give it. But again why, why should someone feel attracted to someone else, why should someone try to prove himself to the person he loves (sorry for being sexist with the he), why is that we try to impress someone ? 

As for me the only reasonable answer is the fear of losing that special person, whom we have unknowingly given a very valuable position in life. So valuable that our minds does anything humanly possible to satisfy the demon of fear (trade our soul if needed). 

But we love our parents and don't do so important things for parents or friends? An analogy for that would be that we know we won't lose our parents love or our friends trust but are not that sure about the person we love. Hence the part proving our love (quite stupid but everyone go on their knee for the same) So is love weak or the reason for the weak to show their weakness? 

No and yes, depends on what you expect from love. Love is what you perceive of it and what you give to it. It is something very personal and unique to the person in the trade (the giver or the taker).

It can be a show of how vulnerable we are or how strong we are, of how loving or caring we are and how good the other person can understand it. It's more like one of those duet dances where the dance is successful only if both the performers are good not only one of them. But again the point of being unique comes in and it is not only restricted to the person in love but the kind of love that they expect.

So what is love? again it's a rhetoric, it's more like a boomerang with every solution it comes back with a question till you find an answer and stick with it, but if you throw it again it will surely come again with another question, questioning its existence and confusing us with its powers.

So this time let’s imagine someone comes with another point of view on the same and explain what love is according to them.