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Love an Universal myth...

posted 26 May 2013, 06:55 by olnf Admin   [ updated 26 May 2013, 09:47 ]

Author: Suparas Deepika



We keep on hearing statement “I love you” from so many people to name a few…parents, friends, GF/BF, Husband/Wife…is there anything called love…does love really exists…?


I am confused where in people define love to be pure, serene, beautiful and blah blah blah but yet again despite being in love with one, they fall for another.


So was he/she in love or it was just an addiction. People might call it as “Crush”, “Infatuation”, or “fascination”, but they all mean the same and in one way are connected to the word “LOVE”.


Question is how one can fall in love repeatedly. Don’t you feel there is something thing, which is quite fishy about so-called “LOVE”.


I have been thinking over it for past few months and have been trying to decode the concept of it. Please note that I am not trying to hurt anyone’s sentiments but I am giving solution to overcome situation which might force you to act in a manner which will not be accepted both at personal as well as social level.


Now if you are ready to have a different view on “LOVE” then let me take you on a trip. A trip destined to unravel the truth behind the “LOVE”.


Parents Love for their offspring


Parents are the happiest person in the world, the day you are born. They take care of you, capture every moment of your achievement, the day you first took baby step, first word you spoke, your school functions, etc. They savor every moment of your achievement both personal, academic & professional.


Parents always have high hopes and expectation from their children, they want to achieve what they failed to achieve. They dream of a life that they failed to live and children are their only opportunity. A better-disciplined, academic life of their children will bring them respect, appreciation and fame in this society and subsequently will provide better career and life for their children.


In order to achieve what they failed at, peer benchmarking is done for their offspring. Benchmarking with class topper, brother/sister, best guy in your society, with your friends, etc. the list is not exhaustive but only indicative.


Don’t you feel what I am feeling; a transaction is being carried out. All that was termed to be love, care, and affection turns out to be an Investment, for a bright future and life full of comfort.


So tell me does love mean give and take? Therefore, love is a transaction between two or more individuals.


Children Love for their Parents


I read a message few years back, it was about how children perceive their parents during different stage of their growth. The perception which starts from best, which over a period of time converts to worst parents, I love my parents to I hate my parents, understanding to misunderstanding. The relation builds up this way. One can argue that such impulse behavior is displayed due to lack of knowledge and experience on part of children.


As we, all know love is pure, innocent and beautiful, analytical approach is never followed.  As doctrine/documented in so many motion pictures, novels, documentary films love is a feeling which is developed irrespective of knowledge or experience of an individual.


Children are innocent unaware of this shrewd, materialistic world but are very ahead in benchmarking. You heard me right, children do involve in Parents benchmarking. They compare their parents with uncle & aunty, friend’s parent, teacher and always hope that their parents did have those good qualities.


Does “LOVE,” mean comparison or it was something called acceptance without any condition?


So how can a child be so rude to his parents & at the same time Comparative?


How once truly loved parent transforms to the most hated person in the world?



BF/ Husband & GF/Wife


Now this relation is openly based on transaction. Irrespective of being BF/GF or Husband/Wife, the entire concept of being together is give and take.


Girl decides to go out with a guy who is handsome, dashing and caring meaning to have enough money to spend on her. Similarly, a guy looks for a beautiful, sweet girl who will hang around him like a show piece. Girls get a transporter, portable shopping complex, to whom she tries to modify as per her need and similarly guy in order to maintain his status quo of having the pretty trophy tends to bend/break over time.


Even after a breakup, some stupid GF/BF will request to have their gift returned and expenditure to be shared. What is this “LOVE”?


What I felt so far was that “LOVE” means to give whatever you have to your partner but never ask in return. What I see here is a river flowing against the gravity.


Let us look at Husband/Wife, arrange marriage, or love marriage both are transaction. Transaction where a Husband has to take care of his soul mate/life partner and meet her expectation in return she will provide him and his family with services like well-cooked food, housekeeping, pleasing of society, help mother in law with various social activities, etc. again the list is not exhaustive but indicative.


Marriage is again a transaction between two individuals and societies wherein they are authorized to complete all Physiological needs as per Maslow’s Need Hierarchy Theory.


The most sacred bond in the world is again based on transaction, an agreement (not documented but naturally implied).


I am shocked…are you?


We have visited 3 most beautiful relations in this world and as per my study and analysis these three relationship turns out to be a give and take transaction. There is nothing called love in this world.


You may want to cross question, explain the feeling which we have when parents are not around us, when children move abroad for job/study, when one have a quarrel, breakup, divorce with his/her partner?  Explain it damned…


Have patience, I have answer to these so called feeling too…but before that let me redefine “LOVE”.


LOVE is nothing but addiction to habits. Habits of parents, children, BF/GF, Husband/Wife;


Parents are habituated with their children behavior, nature and when they are away, they miss their presence in that empty house. They miss those habits, which completed their Parents Children relation/transaction. You will agree once again that in due course of time, they are habituated with children absence; it does not make much difference to them whether you are around or far away.


Similarly, children are addicted to parent’s nature, care, behavior and when they are away, they miss them until they do not join the common pack of friends. As the time pass by the dependency on each other reduces and the addiction reduces but deep down in the mind of the child, it is always there to take care of his/her parents as they have done in his childhood. This is again a transactional obligation.


During breakup/quarrel/divorce both the partner, miss the habits of each other. They are used to the habits of being cared for, tasty food, bike ride and shopping, etc. Do you think this lasts forever? Each of them will continue to miss each other till the time they enter a new relation and would term it “I moved on”.


LOVE is a joke on the planet earth.


Do you think Romeo & Juliet was a eternal true love story…I would term it as failed love story where both lacked guts to move on. They were so much habituated with one another that each feared world without him/her.


Now let me conclude, there is nothing called “LOVE” in this world. It’s just mere addiction to certain habits of your closed ones that makes us feel like what we see, hear and speak of.


If one consider LOVE to an addiction of Habits it will be quite easy to cope up with various situation wherein heart overpowers mind and shut down the logical thought process resulting into decision making based on adrenaline rush.


That’s all from my end, hope few must have enjoyed it…and might have annoyed some…


This is my first article authored with my wife i.e. I have her approval for all above thoughts about/on LOVE.




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